Kabhi kisi par crush hua hai?
Aisa crush ki uske saamne aate hi samajh nahi aata tha ki dekhna hai ya nazar hata leni hai.
Woh saamne aa jaata tha toh heartbeat pata nahi kyun fast ho jaati thi.
Call par uski awaaz sunte hi jo baat dimaag mein bilkul clear hoti thi, woh muh tak aate-aate gayab ho jaati thi.
Aur kabhi-kabhi toh sirf uska naam screen par dekhkar hi ajeeb si nervousness hone lagti thi.
Phir waqt guzra.
Crush khatam ho gaya.
Tumne uske baare mein sochna bhi chhod diya.
Dimaag ne maan liya—
“Ab mujhe woh pasand nahi hai.”
Lekin phir ek din woh achanak saamne aa gaya.
Aur pata hai kya hua?
Dil nahi…
body react kar gayi.
Haath thode kaapne lage.
Heartbeat badh gayi.
Awaaz ajeeb si ho gayi.
Aur dimaag mein bas ek hi sawaal aaya—
“Jab main ise dimaag se nikaal chuka hoon, toh meri body abhi bhi iske saamne aise react kyun karti hai?”
Shayad tum use nahi, us feeling ko yaad kar rahe ho
Sabse pehle ek baat samajhna zaroori hai.
Har physical reaction ka matlab ye nahi hota ki tumhare andar abhi bhi feelings hain.
Kabhi-kabhi hum kisi insaan se emotionally attach hote hain, aur us insaan ke saath bahut saari feelings jud jaati hain—
Nervousness.
Excitement.
Expectation.
Fear of rejection.
Uske saamne achha dikhne ki tension.
Uski ek smile ka wait.
Uske message ka notification.
Uski awaaz sunte hi khud ko control karne ki koshish.
Ye sab experiences baar-baar repeat hote hain.
Dheere-dheere woh insaan sirf ek person nahi rehta.
Woh ek emotional trigger ban jaata hai.
Psychology mein learned/conditioned responses ka concept isi tarah ke association ko samajhne mein help karta hai—jab koi stimulus repeatedly kisi emotional response ke saath jurta hai, toh baad mein wahi stimulus akela bhi response trigger kar sakta hai.
Isliye ho sakta hai ki tumhara dimaag move on kar chuka ho, lekin body ne purana pattern abhi completely unlearn nahi kiya ho.
Dimaag bolta hai “kuch nahi hai”, body bolti hai “ruk… ye wahi hai”
Yahi sabse confusing part hai.
Tum usse dekhte ho.
Dimaag:
“Relax. Ab kuch feel nahi hota.”
Body:
“Oh… ye wahi insaan hai.”
Heartbeat thodi fast.
Muscles tense.
Haath thode shaky.
Awaaz halki si tremble.
Aur tum khud sochne lagte ho—
“Bhai, mujhe hua kya?”
Actually, anxiety ya nervousness ke physical symptoms mein shaking, faster heartbeat, sweating aur tension jaise reactions aa sakte hain. Body perceived threat ya strong emotional trigger ke response mein automatically alert mode mein ja sakti hai.
Yahan “threat” ka matlab ye zaroori nahi ki saamne wala insaan dangerous hai.
Kabhi-kabhi body ke liye emotional pressure bhi enough hota hai.
“Uske saamne meri awaaz kyun nahi nikalti?”
Ye situation toh aur bhi relatable hai.
Normal days mein tum bilkul confidently baat kar lete ho.
Friends ke saath jokes.
Strangers ke saath normal conversation.
Lekin uske saamne?
“Haan… woh… actually… matlab…”
Bas.
Sentence khatam.
Aur agar call par uski awaaz aa jaaye toh aur bhi ajeeb.
Tumne dimaag mein poori conversation prepare kar rakhi thi.
Lekin jaise hi woh bolti/bolta hai—
dimaag blank.
Iska matlab ye nahi ki tum weak ho.
Strong emotional arousal ke time body ka attention aur physiological state change ho sakta hai. Nervousness concentration aur speech ko temporarily difficult bana sakti hai. Anxiety ke saath shakiness, faster heartbeat aur difficulty concentrating bhi ho sakti hai.
Matlab problem ye nahi ki tumhare paas bolne ke liye kuch nahi hai.
Problem ye hai ki us moment mein tumhara body normal conversation mode mein nahi hai.
Lekin crush toh kab ka khatam ho gaya tha…
Haan.
Aur yahi toh is poori feeling ka interesting part hai.
Feelings aur reactions hamesha ek hi speed se disappear nahi hote.
Tum consciously decide kar sakte ho:
“Mujhe ab is insaan ke liye kuch feel nahi hota.”
Lekin emotional memories aur learned responses itni simple switch ki tarah nahi hote ki ek din button off kiya aur sab kuch zero.
Emotional memories conscious bhi ho sakti hain aur non-conscious bhi. Isliye kabhi-kabhi kisi person, place, voice ya situation se purani emotional reaction activate ho sakti hai, bina iske ki tum consciously wahi feelings dobara chahte ho.
Isliye:
Dimaag se nikal jaana aur body ka instantly normal ho jaana—dono same cheez nahi hain.
Ho sakta hai tumhe woh insaan nahi, apna purana version yaad aa raha ho
Kabhi-kabhi hum confuse ho jaate hain.
Hum sochte hain—
“Shayad main abhi bhi usse pasand karta hoon.”
Lekin thoda rukkar dekho.
Kya tum uske saath relationship chahte ho?
Kya tum uske messages ka wait karte ho?
Kya tum uske baare mein din bhar sochte ho?
Kya tum uski life mein wapas aana chahte ho?
Agar in sab ka answer no hai…
Aur sirf saamne aate hi body nervous ho jaati hai…
Toh ho sakta hai problem “feelings” ki nahi, old emotional association ki ho.
Kabhi-kabhi hum kisi person ko nahi miss kar rahe hote.
Hum bas woh version of ourselves yaad kar rahe hote hain jo kabhi us person ke saamne nervous, excited aur hopeful hua karta tha.
Uski awaaz sunte hi reaction kyun aa sakta hai?
Kyuki brain sirf face ko remember nahi karta.
Voice bhi ek powerful cue ho sakti hai.
Agar kabhi uski awaaz ke saath excitement, nervousness ya emotional anticipation repeatedly connected rahi ho, toh baad mein wahi voice ek old reaction ko activate kar sakti hai.
Jaise ek song.
Kabhi-kabhi saalon baad koi purana song sunte hi tumhare mind mein ek particular person, place ya phase automatically aa jaata hai.
Song ne kuch kaha nahi.
Bas memory ka door khol diya.
Kuch log bhi waise hi hote hain.
Unki awaaz sunna hi ek emotional memory ka shortcut ban jaata hai.
Aur saamne aate hi body kaapti kyun hai?
Because body doesn’t always wait for permission.
Nervous system emotional situations mein automatically respond kar sakta hai.
Anxiety ya nervousness ke waqt body alert state mein ja sakti hai—heartbeat noticeable ho sakti hai, muscles tense ho sakte hain aur shaking/trembling ho sakti hai.
Isliye tum consciously calm rehna chahte ho aur phir bhi body thoda shake kar sakti hai.
Tumhara dimaag bol raha hota hai—
“Nothing is happening.”
Aur body bol rahi hoti hai—
“Mujhe pata hai ye situation mere liye kabhi bahut important thi.”
Iska matlab ye nahi ki tum abhi bhi usse pyaar karte ho
Ye line yaad rakhna.
Body reaction = current love, ye equation zaroori nahi hai.
Kisi ke saamne nervous hona automatically ye prove nahi karta ki tum abhi bhi uske liye feelings rakhte ho.
Feelings ko samajhne ke liye tumhe apne overall thoughts, intentions aur behaviour ko dekhna hoga—not just one physical reaction.
Agar tum usse dekhkar kaampte ho, lekin uske jaane ke baad tumhari life normal hai…
Tum uske message ka wait nahi karte…
Tum uske saath future imagine nahi karte…
Tum usse dobara paana nahi chahte…
Toh sirf nervousness ko “I still love them” ka proof banana zaroori nahi.
Toh phir ye reaction kab kam hoga?
Jab brain aur body ko baar-baar ye experience milega ki:
“Ye person ab mere liye koi emotional emergency nahi hai.”
Har baar usse dekhna ek dramatic moment nahi banega.
Har baar uski awaaz sunna special event nahi lagega.
Har baar heartbeat badhne par tum panic nahi karoge.
Aur dheere-dheere reaction ki intensity kam ho sakti hai.
Psychology mein conditioned responses ko change karne ke context mein repeated safe experiences aur new learning important ho sakte hain; old association zaroori nahi ki simply erase ho, balki brain ek nayi association bhi learn kar sakta hai.
Matlab goal ye nahi hona chahiye:
“Mujhe uske saamne bilkul kuch feel nahi hona chahiye.”
Goal ye hona chahiye:
“Agar thoda nervous bhi hua, toh main usse handle kar sakta hoon.”
Agli baar jab aisa ho, khud ko judge mat karna
Agar woh saamne aa gaya aur tumhari heartbeat badh gayi…
Toh immediately ye mat sochna:
“Oh God, main abhi bhi usse like karta hoon.”
Bas ek second rukna.
Slowly breathe karna.
Apne body ko observe karna.
Aur khud se kehna:
“Relax. Ye sirf ek old reaction hai. Mujhe kuch prove nahi karna.”
Jitna tum reaction se daroge, utna hi woh moment bada feel ho sakta hai.
Aur jitna tum us reaction ko accept karoge—
“Haan, body thodi nervous hai. So what?”
Utna hi tum us reaction ko control karne ke pressure se bahar aa sakte ho.
Shayad move on ka matlab ye nahi ki tum kuch feel hi na karo
Hum aksar move on ko galat samajhte hain.
Hum sochte hain—
Move on = uske saamne kuch bhi feel na hona.
Lekin shayad move on ka real meaning ye hai:
Uske saamne kuch feel ho bhi jaaye, phir bhi tum apni life us feeling ke according decide na karo.
Heartbeat badh gayi?
Theek hai.
Awaaz thodi shaky ho gayi?
Theek hai.
Do minute awkward feel hua?
Theek hai.
Iska matlab ye nahi ki tum wapas wahi insaan ban gaye ho jo kabhi uske peeche pagal tha.
Tum bas ek human ho…
Jiske body ke paas bhi memories hoti hain.
Aur shayad sabse beautiful baat…
Kabhi-kabhi hum kisi ko dimaag se bahut pehle chhod dete hain.
Bas body ko ye samajhne mein thoda waqt lagta hai ki—
“Ab woh insaan tumhari duniya ka centre nahi hai.”
Ek din woh saamne aayega.
Tum use dekhoge.
Heartbeat shayad ek second ke liye badhegi.
Phir tum normal ho jaoge.
Aur shayad us din tumhe pehli baar realise hoga—
“Haan… ab main sach mein move on kar chuka hoon.”
Kyuki move on ka proof ye nahi ki uske saamne tumhari dhadkan kabhi tez nahi hogi.
Move on ka proof ye hai ki tez dhadkan ke baad bhi tum uske paas wapas jaane ki zaroorat mehsoos nahi karte.
DilSamjho {Meri Baat}❤️:
Kuch log humari zindagi se chale jaate hain,
lekin unse judi kuch feelings ko jaane mein thoda aur waqt lagta hai.
Aur agar kabhi kisi ko dekhkar tumhara body ab bhi kaap jaaye…
Toh khud se ek baar poochna—
“Kya main usse chahta hoon…
ya mera body bas us waqt ko yaad kar raha hai,
jab main kabhi usse chahta tha?”
Shayad jawab tumhe khud samajh aa jaaye.
Dimaag se toh nikal gaya woh,
ab uske khayalon mein rehta bhi nahi,
phir saamne aate hi kyun,
yeh dil apna sa rehta nahi?
Na usse paane ki chahat hai,
na uske lautne ka intezaar,
phir uski awaaz sunte hi,
kyun ruk jaata hai mera izhaar?
Shayad mohabbat nahi bachi,
bas ek purani aadat si hai,
jo dimaag bhool chuka hai,
body ko abhi yaad wahi baat si hai.
Ab main usse chahta nahi,
yeh baat toh khud se keh chuka hoon,
bas uske saamne aate hi,
shayad apna purana “main” ban jaata hoon.
Kuch log dil se nahi,
waqt ke saath nikalte hain…
aur kuch yaadein aisi hoti hain,
jo khatam hokar bhi,
thodi der tak badan mein chalti hain. ❤️
-Devansh Sharma
Read our more Articles like [ One Sided Love ], [ Close Friendship Situations ], [Still Confused ], [ Jab Dil Red Flag Se Pyaar Kar Baithe ]
